


thoughts from the operating table

by butchrenaryuugu



Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, One Shot, Unrequited Love, self indulgent mess, weird au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butchrenaryuugu/pseuds/butchrenaryuugu
Summary: hanahaki au. one shot. from sayo's pov. basically, an au where sayo got hanahaki from her feelings towards battler. just, her thoughts while waiting for the anesthesia to take effect.





	thoughts from the operating table

On the operating table lies a fragile, brown-haired girl. There are thorns in her throat and leaves in her lungs. The golden roses in her body had been growing since she was just a child. An old child, but a child nonetheless. There are petals all over the surface, almost as if she is a corpse in a coffin.

 

But Sayo, sadly, is alive. She is here, on this day of October 4th, 1986, on a neighbouring island to Rokkenjima, with a needle in her arm and a body that’s empty of fuel. Her back aches and her lungs burn. Operating tables were never comfortable, especially in an environment such as this one. She wears only a hospital gown as she waits for the anesthesia to kick in. No breast forms to look like a real woman, and no servant’s uniform to look at least a little bit pretty.

 

This is her third time on the operating table. The first and second times were when she was a baby, and she can’t remember a thing. She thinks about how nobody, except the nurse, will be there when she wakes up. She has no family to hold her hands and talk to her while she’s tired and in pain. It’s a comforting thought, in a way. The only ones who will see her like this are people she will hopefully never see again. The people she does love won't see her so fragile, so weak, so _disgusting_ , like this. She’s nothing but another patient to them. However, the thought still makes her sad, in a way. 

 

The next thing that crosses Sayo’s mind is the one who caused this disease in her: Battler Ushiromiya. He’d loved her once, but those days were over. Ever since he left, she’d been plagued by this sickness growing inside of her. Every year she waited for Battler to return, and to bring her disease to an end, but the vines only grew sharper and stronger. She cursed him for this, but, in the end, could find no room in herself to hate him. Her love for him was so deep and powerful that it hurt, literally. It cut into her body from the inside and made all her feelings spill out through the blood she coughed up. This year, he was to come back. The timing was all too ironic. Sayo would sadly have to miss seeing her love for the first time in six years due to a disorder that he caused. And it wasn’t even his fault; he would never even have to know. That brought her peace. Maybe she would recover in time to see him, though it was highly improbable. Maybe she would even see him next year, and she would just smile at him and pretend nothing happened over those six, no, seven years. And then he would smile back, and there would be no need to worry.

 

Her thoughts shifted to George — he missed her, she was sure. She wasn’t ready to tell him about her condition, even if he suspected something was off. He definitely wouldn’t come to visit her the next day. This was a good thing, Sayo didn’t want the man who loved her to see her so vulnerable and so ugly. Then Jessica — she was friends with Shannon as well as sort of a romantic interest for Kanon, right? Of course she would be concerned for Sayo, but the sick girl wouldn’t tell her. Even the other servants knew who to keep this from. Just tell everyone that Shannon and Kanon are busy taking care of Kinzo. It was an easy secret to look after. And then there was the only person that was allowed to see her — Maria. The only person that could even begin to understand her. Sayo doubted that Maria would be able to come see her during her recovery, but it was pleasant knowing that the sentiment was still there. 

 

Sayo had begun to drift off, when Battler appeared in her thoughts once more. She ached for him, knowing that after this, she would never love him again. She could almost hear him saying, “Goodnight, Shannon. I’ll see you next year,” as the burning in her lungs receded and she fell into a deep, anesthesia-fueled sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this when i was struggling with unrequited feelings for my best friend. it helped me cope. it's not meant to be perfect, or polished, just a little thing i did to make myself feel better. despite this, i hope you all like this. thank you for reading my work.


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